Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
