Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
