It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
