Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
