'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Are we still banned from the library?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize