i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
