Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
