i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize