You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
