he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
