farters have to be the big spoon...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize