coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
