Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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