i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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