i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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