your thong is hanging out like whoa
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
