I can't watch pbs sober anymore
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize