..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
