I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
