I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
