Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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