i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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