I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
