Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
