you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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