party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
