It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
