so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
And then my night got REAL pukey
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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