Umm I'm too high to move.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
