HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
i out mim tonsoeep
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