She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
