Me. At least after what I've been through.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
