my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
