Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
MIDGETS
????
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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