I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
