I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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