sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
