so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
