his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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