you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
