I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize