this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
