You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
