After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
