She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
