She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
