It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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