U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
