you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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