dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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