Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
