remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize