I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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