I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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