my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
