My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
