Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
