I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
