I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
