I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
