my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
